Worst. Nights. Ever.

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Remember my bad days and really bad days? We can now add worst nights ever. For the past month I have had nightly episodes of violent coughing and chocking.ir-leasing.ru

Having endured over 30 of these seizures I have adapted in the same way I have adapted to the many storms in my life. I’ve survived dozens of life and death experiences. I’m beginning to think I am damn hard to kill.

Each time I have one of these episodes and think this might be it I am reminded of the many times I survived certain death.

Many years ago I was windsurfing on a river in Chile. Much to my peril I did not take into account that the wind was blowing downstream toward the ocean and that there was a mountain on the launch site causing a wind shadow that prevented me from making it back to shore. Dead in the water, I was slowly and painfully being swept out to sea. My only hope was to catch the wind and sail to the opposite shore. This proved to be ineffective and as I was approaching the mouth of the river I decided to swim to the opposite shore. Swimming there without my gear would make matters worse so I broke down my sail and board arriving 30 exhausting minutes later. I was now a mile downstream.

I figured I could shlep all my gear up river, (way up river) rig up, catch the wind, get up a big head of steam and coast right into the launch site. Unfortunately my calculations were a bit off.

Here was the intended formula:
Distance (1.5 miles) shlepping gear upstream, minus down river wind, minus outgoing tide, minus mountain wind shadow, plus big head of steam = safe landing. WRONG! the correct answer is 10 feet from shore and another ride out to sea.

Inasmuch as I was originally ten feet from my destination I could handle the swim back to shore. WRONG AGAIN ! The current and the outgoing tide increased dramatically and in a few short minutes I was once again closing in on the mouth of the river and an angry looking sea.

Here is where the Gods of old age and stupidity had my back once again. Jutting out at the mouth of the river was a short peninsula. The current conveniently deposited me on the shore line, allowing me to hike back to the car, load my gear and make a hasty retreat

Life takes on a new perspective when faced with insurmountable challenges. I hold no illusions that I can beat this disease, but everyday that I wake up is now a good day. There will always be fire in the belly with family and friends continually fanning the flames.

Athough my body is broken, my spirit is stronger than ever. Everyday is a gift which I accept with gratitude. Being terminal does not mean you have to stop living, It only means you have nothing to lose and that you can do anything you put your mind to while realizing that true joy is doing things that people say you shouldn’t be doing.

9 Comments:

  1. You are truly the most amazing person I have ever met. So happy to have had you in my life.

    No one else but you would remain so positive.

    Judy

  2. You are truly the most amazing person I have ever met. No one else but you could remain so positive. Bob and I are so happy to have had you iin our lives.

  3. Yeah Fred, I remember. You’re a hard one to kill! Every day is a bonus – and by my figures you’ve had about a million of them. Your protege, docfun.

  4. “Dust to dust, ashes to ashes…(and thanks to you) powder snow to powder snow.”

  5. Always love reading your blogs, Fred. They always lift me up. I promise I’ll be sharing them more with others to spread the word about you & the ALS fundraiser. How’s the book coming?

  6. Fred

    Very best seasonal wishes, I hope the festive period will be kind to you and you will be able to enjoy some family time and get joy from it.
    Kind regards
    Frances

  7. Hi Fred! You are in my heart and mind a lot these days. I sent you an e mail before Christmas and you didn’t reply. That worries me. I’d like to know how you are doing. I know the phone is difficult for you these days, so I hope you are reading messages on here.
    Love you, my friend!
    Barb

  8. Diane Hicks {hicked}

    Freddy….you have always amazed me with your whit, smile and cute stash. You began calling me “Hicked” and I felt it was a fitting name. But, when you showed up to my suprise birthday party last wednesday, I felt very honored. May you be at peace and may your pain subside in the weeks to come.
    Love you, buddy.
    Diane

  9. Hey Fred! I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately. Hope you are doing OK.
    Can you send me an e mail to let me know how you are?
    Love you,
    Barb

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